First Star, Worst Star: November 30, 2014

jeanshorts
November 30 2014 07:30AM

gold star

It's Sunday, it's colder than something that is, like, INCREDIBLY cold outside, and you can't watch football ALL day, so why not hunker down in your favorite footy pyjamas and take a gander at this week's First Star, Worst Star!

FIRST STAR


The Millenium Man Martin St. Louis. I know his story has been talked about ad nasueum, but how can you not love that little ragamuffin? All of 3 feet tall. No team even wanted to take a flyer on him at the draft. And then he just decided to go out and win basically every accolade there is to win. Hart trophy, Lady Byng, Art Ross, Lester B. Pearson, a Cup, an Olympic gold medal. And at 39 years of age he shows no signs of slowing down at all. He’s on pace for 70 points this season! The Oilers aren’t even going to come close to getting that many in the standings! 

He’s going to join guys like Teemu and Jagr who played well into their 60’s, and he’s going to find a way to outlive us all. At this rate Marty St. Louis is going to retire before the Oilers ever make the playoffs again. And he’ll single handedly outscore the entire Oilers defensive core throughout that entire span as well. IT’S GOING TO BE AWESOME I CAN’T WAIT! 

WORST STAR

playoffs

The Edmonton Oilers inability to ever win a game against a Western Conference team. 

How is this even possible? Like they can’t even bank one in off someone’s face and steal a one goal win? They have to lose EVERY game? I’m not even mad anymore, this is astonishing! It’s like watching a shuttle explosion: everything about it is horrifying but you can’t stop watching in stunned amazement. 

Can you imagine if they somehow accomplished this same feat in the lockout half-year? And they didn’t win a single game the entire season? That’s what this feels like at this point. 

The NHL does that stupid thing where it doesn’t count an OT loss as a “loss” so they still have a long way to go tie the NHL record with 17 straight losses, but we all know they’ve lost 9 in a row, meaning they’re only 8 losses away! I have complete faith that if any team could smash the record for futility in a season, it’s this Oilers squad! Lead us to the promise land Dallas! You’re our only hope! 

THIS WEEK IN VIOLENCE AGAINST OFFICIALS


Way to take a punch, stripes! 

75ae3221a8d731ece044e1f6246b2c2d
Everyone's least favorite member of Menudo. Follow me on Twitter @JSBMJeanshorts and Instagram @jeanshortsandbaggedmilk
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#1 Bubba
November 30 2014, 07:39AM
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I think wins are coming, our play lately means will ultimately win the law of averages against a western team and make that streak meaningless again.

Even if we get on track, though, I think we are a 25-30 place team until we get some more experience. Using the NHL squad as a development vehicle for key players is not working for us.

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#2 Lower than Lowe
November 30 2014, 07:48AM
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I give my first star to everyone who had tickets and let their seats stay empty. Worst star is obvious... Even to my mom, neice and the african child i sponsor but I'll say his name anyways... go away already Lowe!!

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#3 BubbaLou
November 30 2014, 07:58AM
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@Bubba

Yes, it will be an up and down season. Here's the ups - they're pretty fun. When we're down, it's Salutegate time.

No, this team will not compete for the McDavid-Eichel sweepstakes without trading for a better draft pick. Actually, judging by how the rest of the East is playing, the Leafs will have a reasonable shot at the playoffs. This is the Conference to do it - we know who the top 4 will be, and we know who the bottom feeders are, but luckily for Toronto spots 6-12 are all middle-ish teams with a deficiency in some area and assets elsewhere.

Every team uses the NHL as a development vehicle - it's the last vehicle there is. It's no good if your whole team just made the NHL and needs development (sup Oilers), but slotting in rookies and giving them big league time is part of growing a team. So I don't understand - for the most part, the kids in Toronto have been pretty decent.

In other news, Lol do linesmen have a tough job. Holzer's blind straight deflects off the shoulder and hits the linesman square in the jaw. Awesome

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#4 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
November 30 2014, 07:59AM
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This team has allowed everyone to take all the blame for losses except themselves. I see that somewhat changing as the last two games show.the best way for MacT to be able to get somewhere it to see such effort every night. When players bring it every night then true weakness becomes very plain to see and those players are exposed. Honest effort is all we want right now, play 60 minutes and give us a reason to hope for next year. Do not make us feel like fools for watching the games when we could of cleaned the garage.

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#5 Dennis Bancarz
November 30 2014, 08:09AM
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Eakins, Ramsey, Acton, Pouliot, Purcell, Nikitin, Fayne,, Joensu, Ference, all from the Eastern conference. Do you see a trend here?

We need more Peron, Hendricks, And Gordon.

Maybe Eakins has had too much influence in some of the recent signings.

Talk about lack of balance.

Some of these signings will learn to play and coach in the West, but it is taking time we don't have.

In Hindsight there were so many things wrong about bringing Eakins here.

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#6 TheBirdOfAnger
November 30 2014, 08:24AM
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Dennis Bancarz wrote:

Eakins, Ramsey, Acton, Pouliot, Purcell, Nikitin, Fayne,, Joensu, Ference, all from the Eastern conference. Do you see a trend here?

We need more Peron, Hendricks, And Gordon.

Maybe Eakins has had too much influence in some of the recent signings.

Talk about lack of balance.

Some of these signings will learn to play and coach in the West, but it is taking time we don't have.

In Hindsight there were so many things wrong about bringing Eakins here.

*Mind blown. Brains on the freaking wall.*

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#7 TheBirdOfAnger
November 30 2014, 08:24AM
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Dennis Bancarz wrote:

Eakins, Ramsey, Acton, Pouliot, Purcell, Nikitin, Fayne,, Joensu, Ference, all from the Eastern conference. Do you see a trend here?

We need more Peron, Hendricks, And Gordon.

Maybe Eakins has had too much influence in some of the recent signings.

Talk about lack of balance.

Some of these signings will learn to play and coach in the West, but it is taking time we don't have.

In Hindsight there were so many things wrong about bringing Eakins here.

*Mind blown. Brains on the freaking wall.*

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#8 TRAINRECK
November 30 2014, 08:37AM
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First star goes to the owner/management team for their Harry Houdini act. Losing skid starts and these guys disappear faster than a pizza at a weight watchers convention. Only ones to take accountability are Perron and Scrivens. Keep them on the untouchable list along with Hendricks and Gordon.Everybody else should be on the table but not until we get a management team that has a clue and are willing to take responsibility for their own successes and failures. This current regime supplies only failures across the board.

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#9 Spydyr
November 30 2014, 08:40AM
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First star Katz for getting that sweet arena deal great business move more than doubled the Oilers value.Worst star Katz for not firing Lowe.

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#10 Dennis Bancarz
November 30 2014, 08:53AM
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TheBirdOfAnger wrote:

*Mind blown. Brains on the freaking wall.*

My apologies to Aulie, also from the East.

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#11 Serious Gord
November 30 2014, 08:58AM
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Oilers on track for 55 points - would be worst season. Ever.

And I doubt either lowe or MacT would be fired. Katz fanboyism is pathological.

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#12 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 30 2014, 09:01AM
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1st star to The Flames for staying the course on the expected 10 year long painful rebuild...

wait...

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#13 John
November 30 2014, 09:06AM
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I suggest there has been a change in Management .With Bob Nicholsen coming forth this week and basically speaking on topics that are under Lowe's job description I think its safe to say the transition is under way . He also outlined the beginning of a plan to fix this mess.

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#14 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 30 2014, 09:08AM
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looking forward to the battle of Alberta more then usual this Christmas season. :-)

If Flames continue to beat up the lesser teams below them, they can actually make the playoffs...

a total bonus that nobody expected but a distant possibility all of Alberta is enjoying emensly. of course, if they don't make the playoffs, who is disappointed? it's a development year.

The Flames - Alberta's team! Canada's team!

Merry Christmas all!

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#15 Dave
November 30 2014, 09:11AM
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love the Dustin Penner off the face and in reference. Still my favorite Penner goal.

Never realized that all the signings from the east are not living up to expectations. That's mind boggling.

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#16 Mark Gregory
November 30 2014, 09:22AM
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I'd like to coin an new phrase the "Edmonton model " for a new rebuild....LOL

I have just figured out Toronto's shut down pair in the playoffs Holtzer & Polak. That would be awesome!

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#17 Harlie
November 30 2014, 09:22AM
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The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7lGGhHZSZs

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#18 John
November 30 2014, 09:32AM
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Actually I could live with the struggles this team is having if I saw some accountability . There are two or three players on this team who should have their butts stapled in to the press box that is accountability .There should be some major firings in the pro and amateur scouting departments that is accountability . The GM should come out and tell the public what his plan is. We are not dummy hockey fans from florida if it is a good plan we will understand it and support it .That is accountability Mr Katz it is your obligation to the fans to impose it onto your staff.

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#19 Serious Gord
November 30 2014, 09:42AM
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John wrote:

I suggest there has been a change in Management .With Bob Nicholsen coming forth this week and basically speaking on topics that are under Lowe's job description I think its safe to say the transition is under way . He also outlined the beginning of a plan to fix this mess.

Completely disagree. Nicholson is very very close to both katz and lowe. He is running interference for them - he will not be the one firing KLOwe or MacT.

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#20 Loxeus
November 30 2014, 09:57AM
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Monahan + Gaudreau > RNH + Eberle

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#21 Quicksilver ballet
November 30 2014, 10:27AM
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Their now clear goal this season is progressing ahead of schedule. That 20%/best shot at Connor McDavid has been the goal since long before training camp began.

Eakins facing the media daily will surely be getting a bonus this season while upper management plays a season long game of hide and seek from the fart catchers. Long gone are the days when Glen Sather tried to improve his hockey club every day he went to work.

The Oilers are a self portrait of (Katz, Lowe, MacTavish and Dallas Eakins) those running it.

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#22 Pizzaman
November 30 2014, 10:47AM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

looking forward to the battle of Alberta more then usual this Christmas season. :-)

If Flames continue to beat up the lesser teams below them, they can actually make the playoffs...

a total bonus that nobody expected but a distant possibility all of Alberta is enjoying emensly. of course, if they don't make the playoffs, who is disappointed? it's a development year.

The Flames - Alberta's team! Canada's team!

Merry Christmas all!

And you could watch another really good team today with proper management - CALGARY STAMPEDERS- win the GREY CUP- go stamps go!!!! It's great to be a Calgarian!!!!!

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#23 Serious Gord
November 30 2014, 11:21AM
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Harlie wrote:

The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7lGGhHZSZs

Something IS Fukced Dude.

(The f-bomb is dropped 292 times in the movie according imdb)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=efZQhYu1E5s

One of my very favorites.

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#24 Alt
November 30 2014, 12:18PM
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The management team of the Oiler's is totally dysfunctional and should be replaced. The problem with that lies in who would replace them. I highly doubt qualified people would be lining up to work with Mr. Personality Katz. He's the modern day Harold Ballard.

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#25 CMpuck
November 30 2014, 12:28PM
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When the Oilers are sporting Eichel, RNH and Draistail down the middle in a few years people will be pointing to a successful rebuild.

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#26 hotoil
November 30 2014, 12:38PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Oilers on track for 55 points - would be worst season. Ever.

And I doubt either lowe or MacT would be fired. Katz fanboyism is pathological.

Coach Dallas E. is "somewhat" responsible for the 55 point possible season.For some reason it may take some personal traits to inspire a team. Dallas reminds me of a fully dried prune behind the bench. The Oiler Management hired the prune of the NHL. Prunes used to be called CPR Strawberries on the prairies. If you ever worked for such a boss,it may have been a bit less than a stimulating work place? Not exactly up to today's strawberry standards.55 points may be generous!!?

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#27 Alt
November 30 2014, 12:38PM
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CMpuck wrote:

When the Oilers are sporting Eichel, RNH and Draistail down the middle in a few years people will be pointing to a successful rebuild.

You could add 3 more first overall picks and still find a way to lose. Talent can't fix this mess.

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#28 Jake the Snail
November 30 2014, 01:02PM
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CMpuck wrote:

When the Oilers are sporting Eichel, RNH and Draistail down the middle in a few years people will be pointing to a successful rebuild.

Not if Taylor Hall pulling off stunts like he did against St Louis on Friday night. He got lambasted by P J Stock (NOT my favorite analyst) for coughing up the puck TWICE in the offensive zone and skating off the ice. Blues went down the ice and scored both timnes giving his teammates minuses while he gets of scott free.

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#29 Jeff In Lethbridge
November 30 2014, 01:36PM
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CMpuck wrote:

When the Oilers are sporting Eichel, RNH and Draistail down the middle in a few years people will be pointing to a successful rebuild.

you are so lucky! as a flames fan, all i can do is wish we had such positives to look to! :-D

Looks like all is well in edmonton... im so envious!!!!

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#30 MattyFranchise
November 30 2014, 04:23PM
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Jeff In Lethbridge wrote:

you are so lucky! as a flames fan, all i can do is wish we had such positives to look to! :-D

Looks like all is well in edmonton... im so envious!!!!

Yup we lost a bunch of centers early in the season and somehow had a bunch more in the minors. I hear Deadmonton has 2 NHL centers on the roster right now with no talent to speak of in the pipeline except for Draisaitl.

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#31 Lemming
November 30 2014, 04:38PM
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At least Edmonton is better than Vancouver lolololol

Am I doing it right?

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#32 JohnQPublic
November 30 2014, 06:09PM
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Maybe I am just a wishful thinker, but the Oil have improved. They still have a long way to go, but to me, it feels like they are only a few inches away from being an adequate team. Say a few games out of the playoffs? Definitely not a basement dweller.

It's been painful, but the Dallas, Nashville and St. Louis (2nd period) games made me feel that there are steps being made. A handful of 1 goal games against tough teams, on the road.

I just hope they're determined enough not to give up on themselves.

Question: if they play .500 during the second half of the season, do you think that is improvement enough until the off season?

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#33 The Last Big Bear
November 30 2014, 07:13PM
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First Stat should be the Calgary Flames, every week, until/unless they fall out of a playoff spot.

Worst Star should be the Oilers, every week, unless/until they stop being a disgrace to the NHL.

May as well write up the rest of the season now....

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#34 savardianspinorama
November 30 2014, 08:35PM
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@JohnQPublic

If the Oilers play .500 hockey from now until the end of the season, I would call it a huge win for the team and the city. I don't think the Oilers can do it, but miracles do happen every once in awhile.

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#35 McDavid's Comet
November 30 2014, 10:02PM
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When Katz bought the oilers I never imagined that he would be the next Charles Wang of the NHL. Now I know what Toronto fans endured during the Ballard years. $HIT!!

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#36 savardianspinorama
November 30 2014, 10:46PM
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McDavid's Comet wrote:

When Katz bought the oilers I never imagined that he would be the next Charles Wang of the NHL. Now I know what Toronto fans endured during the Ballard years. $HIT!!

Check the standings. Wang's team is winning.

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#37 Jake the Snail
November 30 2014, 10:48PM
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@JohnQPublic

"It's been painful, but the Dallas, Nashville and St. Louis (2nd period) games made me feel that there are steps being made. A handful of 1 goal games against tough teams, on the road."

***Good teams find ways to win. bad teams find a way to lose.

Not a big deal playing good against Dallas; goalie against Nashville and then St Louis slammed, threw stick in disgust at end of game. Against St Louis they played 20 minutes of hockey. Played well against Nashville, but was Nashville really expecting a good game from the oilers?

Justin Schultz who plays defense as well as Enggeland will likely be rewarded with a $6 million annual contract because of supposed offensive upside! Brutal plays costing the oil big time.

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#38 Jake the Snail
November 30 2014, 10:55PM
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@JohnQPublic

"Question: if they play .500 during the second half of the season, do you think that is improvement enough until the off season?"

Only if the majority of their wins are against the Western COnference - I don't see that happening.

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#39 McDavid's Comet
November 30 2014, 11:18PM
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savardianspinorama wrote:

Check the standings. Wang's team is winning.

Perhaps that's because Wang no longer owns the team.

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#40 Devolution
December 01 2014, 12:48AM
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Just so I understand...

Katz -> LaForge -> Nicholson -> Lowe -> McTavish -> Eakins

Am I missing anyone?

How many levels of management does one failing franchise need?

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#41 Loxeus
December 01 2014, 07:26AM
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If I'm an Oiler's fan... (let the record show I washed my hands at this point) I don't want my team's success to be explained by a miracle. That suggests they'd be back at square 1 next year... and what you really want is an honest, competitively rebuilt team. Getting 3 first overall picks is a miracle in and of itself and that hasn't been enough. The Oil spill is BP, not a bit of bacon grease on the counter. It's us that are still at the miracle stage, shouldn't be you. You guys are at the get your ship together stage and have been for a while.

"Scuse me Jebus, can you turn that wine back into water? I'm thirsty now."

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#42 Jeff In Lethbridge
December 01 2014, 12:14PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

Something IS Fukced Dude.

(The f-bomb is dropped 292 times in the movie according imdb)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=efZQhYu1E5s

One of my very favorites.

I thought there were guidelines here about language? whenever we have a crosspost with oilers, we get to see things like this along with things like he use of the "R" word. classy.

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