First Star, Worst Star: November 21, 2014

jeanshorts
November 23 2014 08:03AM

1zvem1i

Time once again for everyone's favorite new weekly feature: FIRST STAR WORST STAR!! 

FIRST STAR

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Troy Grosenick. 

I MEAN, COME ON! What’s not to love about this story? The 25 year old net minder gets called up after Alex Stalock goes down with an injury, makes his NHL debut 4 days later in which he records a 45(!!!) save shutout, AND his family is in the building? He might as well retire now because it’s going to be hard to top that moment! (And, uh, he got absolutely lit up by Buffalo the next game, so….)


I love everything about this video. His dad crying tears of joy. His brother, who thankfully got to take time off from being a roadie for Ratt to come watch the game. His mom showing literally no emotion, calmly putting on her coat as the rest of the family freaks out. Just great work top to bottom Grosenick family! 


WORST STAR

youre-the-worst-and-carry-on

You, us, we, the fans. With our never-ending theories about how the Oilers are purposely trying to lose, and knowing for sure that Daryl Katz is sleeping on a pile of our hard earned cash, cackling and masturbating at the thought of our continued misery while he reaps all the benefits of spending millions upon millions of dollars to own one of the worst franchises in all of professional sports. Not the mention the insider knowledge that Dallas Eakins is purposely making head scratching decisions because he has a personal vendetta against you, yes YOU and you alone, and just wants to make your life miserable by losing 4 out of 5 hockey games he coaches. 

When we’re not storming the comments section or Twitter decrying the injustices of being forced to spend our free time watching professional sports, entertainment if you will, we’re making sure to always be on the media’s case for never, ever, ever, once, ever saying anything bad at all about the Oilers.  

And it’s not just Oiler fans. Look at our ever embarrassing cousins in the east! On November 12th Leaf fans and their media were falling all over themselves to praise the team for their statement making game against the Bruins. That statement? Well…. actually I’m not entirely sure. That even a good team like the Boston Bruins are going to have an off night and get lit up once in a while? That hockey is pretty random? That the Leafs won one game? That one win in the middle of November somehow erases that hilarious collapse in the playoffs two years ago? Whatever it was Leaf fans across the land were riding high. 7 days and THREE games later? 

BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!! Fire the coach! Fire the GM! Fire the mascot! Trade everyone! Put Phil Kessel on trial for his heinous crimes against humanity! Fire Brian Burke again! 

Two losses, granted by a combined score of 15-4, and all of a sudden the Leafs season was basically over. 

And EVEN DUMBER THAN THAT, the Leafs come out the next game, beat Tampa handily, and people got EVEN MORE IRATE AND STUPID! Why? Well the Leafs had the audacity not to lift their sticks up at center ice for 3 seconds as everyone was filing out of the building. How disrespectful to the 300 people that didn't leave 5 minutes early to beat the traffic! 

Sports fandom is a funny thing that I doubt I’ll truly ever understand. I’m as guilty as anyone for getting caught up in the emotional roller coaster that goes along with loving a sports franchise a little (a lot) too much. But MY LORD MAN, some of us need to take a serious look in the mirror and reevaluate our priorities here. At the end of the day watching professional sports is a hobby, it’s entertainment, it’s fun. Err, well, it’s SUPPOSED to be fun. 

This team needs to go through some major changes, that’s plain as day. But as we’ve seen for going on almost 9(!!) years now bellyaching and complaining and long winded screeds *shifty eyes* aren’t going to make a lick of difference in terms of what happens on the ice. For better or for worse (mostly worse) we chose the Oilers as the team we love and spend way too much time thinking and yelling about. We’re all obviously super passionate about this team, otherwise we wouldn’t waste tons of company time commenting on who is to blame for what at any given time. 

But I think we all just need to take a step back, take a couple of big, deep breathes, and realize that there are much, much better things to worry about than professional sports. I think we’re just making a shitty situation even worse by constantly dwelling on all the crappy parts of this team. I mean, I personally can’t even get mad at the ineptitude displayed by this team day in and day out. It’s more astonishing than anything else. Not a single win against a western conference team? NOT ONE? Not one shootout? Not a fluke goal in the dying seconds of the third to steal one? NINE YEARS WITHOUT A SINGLE PLAYOFF GAME? That’s astounding! 

"Being a Leafs fan is HARD" Bruce Arthur exclaimed the day after No-Stick-Saulte-Gate, which is patently untrue. Yes, it sucks when the team you cheer for (or in some of our cases all the teams we cheer for) suck. It's not fun watching your team lose night in and night out. But no one is forcing you to watch. There are a million other things you can do with your time. The Oilers are down 4-0 in the second period? Guess it's time to fire up my NHL 15 season where my team actually wins games. The Leafs have lost 4 in a row? Instead of sticking around at home this Saturday night maybe we'll go see a movie instead. 

I think if we spent less time yelling at each other about who has the correct terrible trade idea that will immediately turn this team around, and more time making fun of Eakins’ derpy face and making terrible puns on Twitter, we’ll all be (slightly) happier. The Oilers clearly aren’t going to make this season any fun (AGAIN!) so we might as well try to make the most of a bad situation which we have virtually no control over. 

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to run away now as not to get stung by this hornets nest that I’ve just kicked. 

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Everyone's least favorite member of Menudo. Follow me on Twitter @JSBMJeanshorts and Instagram @jeanshortsandbaggedmilk
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#101 Captain Ron
November 23 2014, 02:31PM
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Total points wrote:

A rumour (a few years ago) from a person close to the Katz family. Katz wants the franchise to be located in Seattle, close to Vancouver here he lives. (Didn't he go to Seattle few years ago when dealing on the building).

He wants to run this franchise into the ground (may have accomplished that already) and when Oiler fans do not buy tickets he will move franchise.

This is really dumb on so many levels.

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#102 J
November 23 2014, 02:42PM
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Don't trade Perron you wont get back what he's worth to the team. The guy that should be featured in a package out is Eberle. Not just because he might get still get some return but also to send a message to the rest of the team that no one is untouchable. Dump Schultz hard.

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#103 hoss83
November 23 2014, 02:45PM
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Alt wrote:

I wouldn't be surprised if the top 5 picks of 2015 all refuse to go to Edmonton. Who could blame them. The owner and management of this franchise are so dysfunctional. I doubt a team of top criminal lawyers could defend this group. The NHL should be stepping in soon.

Sorry but get real!! Just like the players refusing to go to NYI after years of blunders, high draft picks and poor management. Only ever happened once with Eric Lindros. We all know how that turned out. Col ended up with a couple cups and Eric with nothing. I highly doubt that will ever happen again. Contrary to your belief, I would think these guys still understand the huge privilege/honor it is to get drafted let alone play in the NHL by any team.

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#104 Serious Gord
November 23 2014, 03:13PM
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hoss83 wrote:

Sorry but get real!! Just like the players refusing to go to NYI after years of blunders, high draft picks and poor management. Only ever happened once with Eric Lindros. We all know how that turned out. Col ended up with a couple cups and Eric with nothing. I highly doubt that will ever happen again. Contrary to your belief, I would think these guys still understand the huge privilege/honor it is to get drafted let alone play in the NHL by any team.

It is you who is being unrealistic.

The draft in its modern form really didn't begin until the seventies.

Since then there are arguably only five players who were regarded as superstar draft picks:

Gretzky Lemieux Lindros Crosby Mcdavid

Two of those five did not play for the team that had the rights to the number one pick in the NHL : Gretzky and lindros.

And if I recall correctly, Lemieux wasn't very happy to be drafted by PItt.

So that is a 50;50 ratio making mcdavid refusing to play for EDM if they get the pick a very real Possibility.

And it seems even more likely when one considers the similarities between EDM and que: 1. Terrible and controversial ownership and management 2. Years of ineptitude on the ice. 3. An invisible, microscopic media market with next to nil North American reach. 4. Lousy merchandizing possibilities (see the three prior points)

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#105 RJ
November 23 2014, 06:31PM
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@Serious Gord

Gretzky came with the team from the WHA. He didn't get drafted.

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#106 hoss83
November 23 2014, 06:55PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

It is you who is being unrealistic.

The draft in its modern form really didn't begin until the seventies.

Since then there are arguably only five players who were regarded as superstar draft picks:

Gretzky Lemieux Lindros Crosby Mcdavid

Two of those five did not play for the team that had the rights to the number one pick in the NHL : Gretzky and lindros.

And if I recall correctly, Lemieux wasn't very happy to be drafted by PItt.

So that is a 50;50 ratio making mcdavid refusing to play for EDM if they get the pick a very real Possibility.

And it seems even more likely when one considers the similarities between EDM and que: 1. Terrible and controversial ownership and management 2. Years of ineptitude on the ice. 3. An invisible, microscopic media market with next to nil North American reach. 4. Lousy merchandizing possibilities (see the three prior points)

Gretzky was not drafted period so not applicable he chose us, Lemieux's statement was that "he wanted to play for any team that drafted him". There was a contract dispute look it up on wiki. Nice cherry picking of "superstar pick" which I do not recall in the first post. I was referring to 1st overalls refusing to play for the team that drafted them. In regards to your points at the bottom they are all known, and have been rehashed time and time again. I just have to think you are a little offside actually thinking a player would ever refuse to do what only one player drafted first overall, that being Lindros has ever done in the history NHL. Just an FYI Lindros also refused to play for the Junior team hat drafted him. I would chalk that up to the player and I will stand by my comment that I highly doubt it would happen again. I will never say never, just not a possible 50% chance like you insinuated.

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#107 wiseguy
November 23 2014, 10:49PM
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Serious Gord wrote:

It is you who is being unrealistic.

The draft in its modern form really didn't begin until the seventies.

Since then there are arguably only five players who were regarded as superstar draft picks:

Gretzky Lemieux Lindros Crosby Mcdavid

Two of those five did not play for the team that had the rights to the number one pick in the NHL : Gretzky and lindros.

And if I recall correctly, Lemieux wasn't very happy to be drafted by PItt.

So that is a 50;50 ratio making mcdavid refusing to play for EDM if they get the pick a very real Possibility.

And it seems even more likely when one considers the similarities between EDM and que: 1. Terrible and controversial ownership and management 2. Years of ineptitude on the ice. 3. An invisible, microscopic media market with next to nil North American reach. 4. Lousy merchandizing possibilities (see the three prior points)

Wow! Putting McDavid amongst some of the top players of all time (I wouldn't include Lindros) before he's played a single game in the nhl? Tsk tsk.

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#108 Derzie
November 23 2014, 11:53PM
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reaperfunkss wrote:

I would like to weigh in here as a Raider fan since 80. Oiler's since 79

The Raiders are the worst franchise of the big 4 North American leagues over the last decade. Hands down. Even compared to the pile of garbage the Oilers have become the Raiders still rank as horrid.

And yes my sports life sux since i dont overly care about MLB or NBA

At least the eskies won a playoff game this year so I can feel good about them.

Raiders and Oilers are still under the shadow of the 80s success. Terrible in the modern day.

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#109 Isaac B
November 24 2014, 12:52AM
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Your a joke. Masterbating really? So you write whatever that was on a site that only exists because fans talk about the Oilers. Ok we will talk about positives care to enlighten us?You should be thankful their are still fans that are still engaged to read your hypocritical drivel. I don't need a hack jackass blogger who hides behind a ricdiculous web name to scold me on my Oilers morality.

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#110 Matty Franchise Jr
November 24 2014, 07:04AM
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Isaac B wrote:

Your a joke. Masterbating really? So you write whatever that was on a site that only exists because fans talk about the Oilers. Ok we will talk about positives care to enlighten us?You should be thankful their are still fans that are still engaged to read your hypocritical drivel. I don't need a hack jackass blogger who hides behind a ricdiculous web name to scold me on my Oilers morality.

Does your "Oilers morality" allow for all those grammar and spelling errors?

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#111 Positive Ray of Sunshine
November 24 2014, 07:58AM
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wiseguy wrote:

Wow! Putting McDavid amongst some of the top players of all time (I wouldn't include Lindros) before he's played a single game in the nhl? Tsk tsk.

If Serious Gord was referring to pre-draft hype then not only does Lindros belong on that list, Alexander Daigle does too. After he tore apart the Q, he was compared to everyone from Lafleur to Lemieux.

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#112 RedMan
November 24 2014, 08:11AM
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Rama Lama wrote:

I was totally convinced at the start of the year that we were going down this road........not because I'm a genius or clairvoiant, but because Dallas Eakins runs the bench.

Now I feel for him but everything that has happened is because of his inability to manage the bench. He lost crediblity with his team because he did exactly the opposite of what he said he would do..........let players earn their ice time.

We all know this was a lie and now he is paying for this. Calgary has their main centres injured and they keep winning with AHL players.......why?

It's time to relieve Dallas of his duties........perhaps he can write a book about what not to do in the NHL.

the only problem with this is that you refer to the Flames call-ups players as "AHL players".

In your fits of honest reflection, you might as well go all the way and also admit that Calgary has quietly built a very good development system that has produced legitimate NHL'ers over the last few years. Jooris, Granlund, Ferland, Baertschi - hard to watch them and honestly call them "AHL players". The Flames youth have been doing amazing...

Edmonton has rushed their first rounders into the NHL and neglected to find a solid stable of prospects after their first overall picks.

It must be painful to see all this unfold in slow-motion over the years, and for so long live in disbelief until the truth is unavoidable, like a two by four to the face.

The reason Flames fans are slow to have any sympathy is because of the arrogance of Oiler fans over the last several years who, regardless of every shred of evidence and the reality staring everybody in the face, kept asserting how much better the Oilers were because of how good they will soon be... as if it was already a fact.

Really, get a 3 game winning streak, and the same fans will be at it again, harping on the pending dynasty and trolling Flames.

I guess Karma has decided the Oiler fans need to eat crow for a while...

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#113 RedMan
November 24 2014, 08:16AM
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BurningSensation wrote:

One of the things that has clearly worked so well for the Oilers is constantly changing the coach.

Hint, the problem isn't your coach.

the problem isnt the coach, but the coach IS a problem... i mean, playing a full 30 seconds with only four skaters even though there wasn't a penalty? he must have been day dreaming of a root canal, or something equally more enjoyable then being on the bench.

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#114 SpiMo
November 24 2014, 10:09PM
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As a Leaf fan, thank you for making me feel better this week, I've been so up and down and all that uncertainty and all, you know - I didn't read your whole column, just skimmed to the Leaf mentions Ha Ha. Must really REALLY suck to be an Oiler fan...

Counting my blessings starting today - GLG!

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