NHL12 – Be a Gm Quirks

 

 

EA Sports released their much anticipated NHL12 today. Reviews and reports of game play/mechanics have been trickling in on my twitetr feed today, some of which I have decided to share. Apparently EA has gotten quite clever with this iteration and the "Be a GM" game mode hides some rather idiosyncratic quirks and pitfalls.

Be a GM – Edmonton Oilers

– Players frequently suffer injuries. Particularly star players. Injury frequency actually increases when fighters are added to the roster.

– You have to deal with constant, annoying trade requests from every player in the organization.

– UFA offers to new players are automatically rejected.

– Baffling managerial decisions by Kevin Lowe crop up randomly and there’s nothing you can do about them.

– Every game starts with the Oilers down by at least two goals.

– No Oilers goalie can maintain a SV% above .905.

– It is impossible to win a fight while playing as Zach Stortini.

Be a GM – Calgary Flames

– Automatically changes whatever GM name you input to "Ken King"

– Prospects are always returned to the minor team, even after being put on the Flames active roster.

– The playoffs end after round 1.

– Russian players cannot be traded for or signed.

– Newly signed players are automatically given a NTC.

– Consistently place 8th or below in the Western Conference, regardless of point totals.

– Players traded to Toronto automatically gain 5+ points to their overall rating. The opposite happens with any player traded from Toronto.

Be a GM – Vancouver Canucks

– Only Vancouver players have an added "diving" rating, which is automatically 90 or above.

– Roberto Loungo is automatically pulled in high-pressure or important games.

– The Sedin twins can only stand idle while being assualted after the whistle.

– "Punch" buttons during a fight become "crouch" and "turtle" if the player is Alex Burrows.

– It is impossible to win four games in the Stanley Cup finals. 

Be a GM – Toronto Maple Leafs

– Cannot trade for or sign players with "toughness" ratings below 80. Related: Colton Orr cannot be traded from the team nor scratched from the active roster.

– Only one player with an overall rating of 90 or above is allowed on the roster at any given time.

– Any Goalie acquired will automatically see his rating fall below 70.

– During season simulations, the Leafs win rate will double once they have been eliminated from the playoff race.

– Phil Kessel’s rating jumps from 55-85 randomly and for weeks at a time.

– Players traded from Calgary gain 5+ points to the overall rating. The opposite happens with any player traded to Calgary.

Be a GM – Winnipeg Jets

– Dustin Byfuglien’s weight increases by 2% every day of the off-season. The "pass" button automatically becomes another "shoot" button when playing as Byfuglien as well.

– For the first season, fans cheer no matter what happens on the ice. Attendance falls by 15% for every year after that, regardless of the team’s success or failure on the ice.

– UFA’s automatically demand 25% on top of initial offers.

– Don Wadell constantly calls with terrible trade suggestions.

– The season ends when the playoffs begin.

  • RexLibris

    …ok, maybe I’m having too much fun with this but…

    “Be A GM: Ottawa Senators”

    -may only sign players from Sweden

    -all goalies with ratings over 79 will be injured for remainder of the season within the first 3 games

    -will automatically drop one spot in every draft due to the lottery

    “Be A GM: Montreal Canadiens”

    -every contract over $7,000,000/year will not be able to put up over 10 goals

    -a minimum of 2 players from every position will make the ALL STAR team due to fan voting and nothing to do with statistics, production or player rating

    “Be A GM: Edmonton Oilers”

    -will not be able to sign any UFA with a rating over 75

    “Be A GM: LA Kings”

    -will always come in 2nd place when trying to sign UFA’s with ratings over 80

    -all players acquired in a trade will require surgery due to internal doctor’s recommendation despite being completely healthy

    -the team will automatically have to take all summer to sign all RFA’s

    “Be A GM: Detroit Red Wings”

    -every draft pick will turn into an NHL player at some point in their career

    -Lidstrom will never retire or get injured and will automatically put up a minimum 40 points every year and be nominated for the Norris

    -team will automatically make the playoffs every year as long as the team has Lidstrom

  • otto

    Back in the day E.A was the only way I had to evaluate trades.As soon as I heard about a move I would dash to the Sega to see who we got.However I quickly learned not to trust the player ratings.No way Gary Suter was only 2pts better than Zalapsky.

  • BobB

    Oilers GM:

    When you try and make a trade, it occurs and then the next time you play the game it’s rejected, your player is returned with a rating 5 points lower. The only way to rid over-priced players is buy them out and put them in the minors.

    Flames GM:

    Every time you make a trade Olli Jokinen is added on. When he’s on your roster he goes out, when you try and fill the hole, he comes back with the other players as well.

    Canucks GM:

    All loading screens are on fire. When Luongo allows more than two goals random fans spontaneously combust. If you make it to GM 7 of the final the screen gets increasingly filled with riot smoke until you cannot see and thus lose the game.

    Leafs GM:

    You cannot proceed to actually playing the game because you’re constantly required to first play a Tetris-like “Plan the Stanley Cup parade route”

    Jets GM:

    You never actually play in Winnipeg, Bettman just randomly moves the team around to non-NHL market, global destinations. “Nairobi Jets”

    • Eulers

      “Flames GM:

      Every time you make a trade Olli Jokinen is added on. When he’s on your roster he goes out, when you try and fill the hole, he comes back with the other players as well.”

      LMAO!!

  • Mantastic

    funny funny stuff.

    oilers – everytime the gm or coach speaks the words “we are a playoff team” you automatically get 1st overall pick.

    toronto – no actual game play just video of ron wilson and brian burke doing interviews, both angrily of course.

    calgary – jay feaster as pacman chasing the little white pills that are the playoffs. the ghosts are the players with no trade clauses, killing his dream. *special feature of farm report narrated by a sutter.

    vancouver – burrows and kesler are constantly taking time time off to compete in diving events.

    winnipeg – the gm is actually replaced by individual wives of players and they decide the fate of trades. dependant upon weather and shopping venues.

  • marty

    calgary flames

    you only have centers on lines 2-4. line one can only have wingers

    edmonton oilers

    all the women in the stands have bruises on their legs

    toronto

    goes from 2011 to the start of the 1967 season so the team is relevant

    montreal

    carey price develops bi polar disease from game to game due to fans rollercoaster cheering

    ottawa

    not even in the game cause no one cares. also no one from ottawa has even noticed

    winnipeg

    fans are not to excited to use the word gold as nick name for a player. went from golden jet to golden arches with byfugliens off season work out regime.

    either way ther first thing im doing when i get this after work is trading stajan and sending hagman to the minors.

  • otto

    Be a GM: Edmonton
    -cannot exit “rebuild” mode
    -prospects to player ratio set too high at 50:1
    -Khabibulin’s walker obstructs his glove hand from use
    -trade mode tries to return players previously dealt

    Be a GM: Montreal
    -“nostalgia” mode setting can’t be turned off
    -media won’t respond to anything other than French
    -goalie’s names constantly appear in trade rumours if their GAA is more than 2.50; they are in their last year of contract; or the team is at any point below .500
    -prospects must play a minimum of 150 AHL games before being called up, and then, must average at least a point per game or be sent down again

  • Nice work Kent. The Kessel one was my favorite.

    Calgary GM -Automatically trade away any player that Jarome Iginla doesn’t like/stands up to Jarome Iginla for a bag of pucks and a faceoff in the other teams end.

    -Immediately sign said bag of pucks to a lucrative extension with a NTC.

  • CopperNSmyth

    BOSTON GM feature

    -pressing up, down, up, left, select turns Tim Thomas into Subzero from the running man, who uses his serated edge goalie stick to hack everyone’s legs off at the knees, thus bringing every player down to Marty St Louis’s eye level

  • Devon

    I’ll do the Ottawa one some justice or at least try to.

    Be a GM Ottawa…

    Your best forwards will always be injured for at least 20 games.

    Your team must always be captained by some guy name Alfredsson

    Any coach you have hired can’t last more then 2 seasons.

    Goalies are told to dig a hole and bury there careers in it whenever they come to play for you.

    While you have a great number one center you will be constantly told by fans to trade him for magic beans.

    Your team will always just be good enough to be a contender but always be a pretender come playoff time.

  • Devon

    Los Angeles

    Any time you are negotiating with an RFA an arbitration decision on a comparable player will cause him to make unreasonable demands and hold out through training camp.

    Florida

    Any time your team is below the salary cap floor on July 1st the computer will randomly sign players at double their market value and double the reasonable term.

    Philadelphia

    All goalies signed for double market value, and automatically lose half of overall rating once season starts.

    Dry Island mode – any player over 24 with more than 50 points has too much fun and must be traded.

    New Jersey

    Lamoriello Mode – Any time team exceeds salary cap at start of training camp, select one player to visit a doctor of dubious ethics who will declare him LTIR eligible.

    New York Rangers

    Top 3 UFAs each year tendered offers at double market value – but all may be assigned to minors at any contract value.

    Colorado

    Late season budget cut mode – in last 25 games of the season, all offers that lower salary paid this season or next are accepted.

  • Devon

    Los Angeles

    Any time you are negotiating with an RFA an arbitration decision on a comparable player will cause him to make unreasonable demands and hold out through training camp.

    Florida

    Any time your team is below the salary cap floor on July 1st the computer will randomly sign players at double their market value and double the reasonable term.

    Philadelphia

    All goalies signed for double market value, and automatically lose half of overall rating once season starts.

    Dry Island mode – any player over 24 with more than 50 points has too much fun and must be traded.

    New Jersey

    Lamoriello Mode – Any time team exceeds salary cap at start of training camp, select one player to visit a doctor of dubious ethics who will declare him LTIR eligible.

    New York Rangers

    Top 3 UFAs each year tendered offers at double market value – but all may be assigned to minors at any contract value.

    Colorado

    Late season budget cut mode – in last 25 games of the season, all offers that lower salary paid this season or next are accepted.

  • Eulers

    Be a GM Montreal:

    -PK Subban couldn’t skate Forward and only hit with his back.

    -Andrei Markov only play 7 games in a season, he always get a knee injury.

    -Hal Gill couln’d skate faster than any other player

    -Its impossible to make more than 1 goal in 2 weeks for Andrei Kostitsyn

    -You couln’d trade Jroslav Spacek and he will never retire

  • NYI: At random times during the season Alexei Yashin shows up to thank you for the free money. Photo ops with DiPietro in the hospital ensue.

    NJD: During the draft, any player that has fallen a few spots will automatically become a great NHL player if chosen by you, but will never make the NHL if chosen by any other team. Also, any trades you make will automatically force the other team’s GM to add on a pick or a useful player resulting in you always winning the trade. Cap hits for players are 1/16th of whatever they are earning.

    PHX: Your team takes half the time and suffers no ill-effects of travelling on the road, since all players have their suit-case packed and ready to move at all times.

    CBJ: At the end of every season a menu pops up and says Rick Nash is requesting a skilled player to play with. Your two options are x (for NO) and O (for NO). In the last year of your contract as GM the club salary must double and result in no change in the standings.

    ANA: During off-season you have no choice but to sign Teemu Selanne until he is either 50 years old or drops below a point per game. Also you must sign any players that EDM does not resign.

    NSH: Every game goes to a shootout and you lose the game 1-0. If any player on your team who is NOT a defenseman scores a goal they are automatically traded or not resigned. Goalies drafted always have A+ potential.