NERD CAMP UPDATE: WANYE GOES TO FACEBOOK

Wanye
July 19 2012 02:29PM

This second nerd camp update is about successful youth: Mini Daddy - featured above - and Mark Zuckerberg as you will see shortly. It is NOT about your local squadon's efficient penalty killing or the fact that Shea Weber is now richer than Zuckerberg and Mini Daddy combined. You have been warned before making the jump.

Few things are as impressive of laying eyes on a really successful person who has made their own way in life. They know who they are, you know who they are and there ain't no getting around the fact that while most of us sit around wishing we were doing something awesome and eating delicious donairs they have gone and done it. 

Mini Daddy knows he is doing it big. With tracks this catchy he is surely destined to a fistful of Grammy Awards and an Olympic swimming pool full of gold bullion before his days are done. Loosely translated the chorus of his title jam - enjoyed by all of our Mexican colleagues down here at nerd camp - means "I am the cutest kid, I am the sexiest kid and I can make you dance."

You sure can. Bueno para perrear el mini daddy!

VISITING FACEBOOK

Speaking of people who know they are doing it b-i-g, we had the opportunity to go meet with Facebook yesterday down here in the Sunshine State. (note: that may be Florida we can't recall) In any event their newly renovated campus was off the chain. Free food, free Oil changes in the parking lot and a bunch of really really successful cats walking around the offices pretending not to care about what they are worth since the Facebook IPO.

Somehow or other we got to go meet with some of the people responsible for creating the greatest time waster at work since minesweeper. We got to eat their free cupcakes and drink their free beer and pump them for information about how they think the world will look in 5 years if they get their way - which they will.

This is one of the sickest companies ever devised. They know it, their 900 million users know it, we know it and hell even Mini Daddy probably knows it.

GAME TIME

 

As we walked around the campus we saw none other than the Head Honcho himself Mark Zuckerberg, having a meeting in a conference room. Apparently he is quite visible at the company, eating lunch in one of their many cafeterias on the reg and everyone we asked said he is actually a really cool dude despite what the media and feature films suggest.

Being worth a cool 14.1 billion dollars might to that to a fella.

Anywhoo, we see Zuckerberg mere feet away as we walked past and had our tiny mind shattered into dust. "No one is going to believe you saw him Wanye. You need to go and get proof" it suggested. So as the rest of the camp made it's way into the next meeting we doubled back and boldly took a picture of The Man as he kicked back and plotted the launch of Skynet or some such thing.

Immediately a security guard came running at us top speed. "Who are you? What are you doing? Do you work here at Facebook?" Now this guy was doing his job - and most attentively we might add - so we had to throw up the 100 foot wall of stupidity like only your ol' pal Wanye can.

"Yeah I work here. So what?"

"Where is your ID card? What is your name? You know you aren't allowed to take pictures here."

"I wasn't taking a picture. What are you talking about?"

And so it went for a few tense seconds. Seeing we weren't about to outwit the guy we made a snap decision and just took off running. In a beeline. Past the main doors which have enough security to qualify as an International Airport. And we didn't look back to give the guy another look at our picture taking face.

Are we banned for life from the Facebook campus? Probably. But It was worth it. That's totally Zuckerberg.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 gongshow
July 19 2012, 02:35PM
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@WVG - Has nerd camp given you any ideas on how to let us citizens of the Nation forward articles to our friends through email, facebook, twitter etc, with the push of a button. Every time I see an article I want to send to a friend, you don't make it easy on me to spread the word of the Nation.

Make it happen.

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#2 OilerLand
July 19 2012, 02:48PM
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*SLOW CLAP*

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#3 Archaeologuy
July 19 2012, 02:48PM
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I bet the guys at Nerd Camp told you how to fix the broken Reply button and how to view a Lifetime Props Counter (hint: Props related Achievements for user profiles make this place the next World of Warcraft)

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#4 bmac
July 19 2012, 02:51PM
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That photo is indisputable evidence.

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#5 Harlie
July 19 2012, 02:53PM
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Wayne, next time use your camera phone to take a picture instead of from the scope on the rifle you borrowed from Smac. You might get a bit more definition in the picture and some leeway from the guards.

Oh yeah, also a really cool thing would be if you ordered up a chocolate handgun to be made up from Bernard Callebout Chocolatier in Edmonton. Then when you see Zuckerberg, make sure you have the gun unwrapped, in your hand, and you should sprint in his direction. I'm sure he will appreciate it!

By it..I mean the world class beat down that you may receive.

Godspeed and a bounty of money and ho's for you good sir!

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#8 boxman.
July 19 2012, 03:12PM
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A very cool picture or a bad portrait in the obituaries were the only possible outcomes. You had no choice. Well played Wanye.

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#9 Bicepus Maximus - Huge fan boy!
July 19 2012, 03:37PM
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Ah Mexico, the land of piss filled swimming pools, 5 am room service cheeseburgers, and apparently 6 year old hoes.

Now get me another margarita, Mini Puta! I'm here to party!

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#10 Kent Wilson
July 19 2012, 03:40PM
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gongshow wrote:

@WVG - Has nerd camp given you any ideas on how to let us citizens of the Nation forward articles to our friends through email, facebook, twitter etc, with the push of a button. Every time I see an article I want to send to a friend, you don't make it easy on me to spread the word of the Nation.

Make it happen.

THIS*.

*(Aside - I have already told Wanye to do this).

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#12 baggedmilk
July 19 2012, 03:55PM
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If there was a "Like" button for this article, I would surely click it.

I look forward to hearing these stories upon your return, fair Wanye.

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#13 Kent Wilson
July 19 2012, 03:57PM
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@Wanye

It's true. Share buttons are the tip of the iceberg.

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#14 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 19 2012, 04:21PM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

I bet the guys at Nerd Camp told you how to fix the broken Reply button and how to view a Lifetime Props Counter (hint: Props related Achievements for user profiles make this place the next World of Warcraft)

Ah yes, I'll be starting another Propsapoluza if they ever do start an actual lifetime count.

But now that Wanye has been to the real facebook, he will realize that he shouldn't take into consideration our opinions, that would be far too logical. Completely change the format to something we all dislike even more, and that does not address any of the issues that have been brought up from your users. Thats the way facebook does it isn't it?

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#15 borisnikov
July 19 2012, 04:40PM
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You'd think with all that cartel drug money down in Me-hico they could afford some production money for this upstanding young chap. I just don't know what else to say.
Edit:zooms iphone camera in and out really fast

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#16 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
July 19 2012, 05:40PM
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Good Sir Wanye,

We need, err, would like to see (in no specific order):

Comments tally, ie: Wanye has commented __ times. Props tally, ie: Wanye has been propped __ times. Like button. Share button, with links to FB, Twitter, etc. Dislike button, with tally....cause sometimes even I have to say huh?? wtf??

Please good sir, make it so

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#17 Archaeologuy
July 19 2012, 05:57PM
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Wanye wrote:

Also wicked ideas. Integrating free mobile and fantasy games is on my list of dream ideas too as is collecting reams and reams of these fancy stats everyone goes on and on about.

The Nations will only continue to grow as time and money allows. We won't ever stop with this thing and I can only hope the pace picks up as we enter our fifth (!!!!) year in November. For now more writers, MORE MORE MORE

I didnt think more writers were necessary since Nations HQ was so obviously located in a country where it wasnt illegal to hold Willis hostage and force him to write articles at gun point.

But new hosta...er...writers would be cool too.

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#18 Word
July 19 2012, 06:09PM
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Security Guard: STOP!

Zuckerberg: How's he getting away so fast?

Security Guard: He's, uh, running sir.

Zuckerberg: Running what, some kind of "flee" application? On his phone?

Security Guard: *sigh* On his shoes.

Zuckerberg: Oh yeah. I uh... I invented that... I put it into a pair of ADIDAS. It was my idea first!

*Zuckerberg runs off to sue Usain Bolt and issue an IPO on "running application shoes"*

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#19 Randaman
July 19 2012, 06:16PM
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Are you guys serious? Slow news day or what? What about Gagner's arbitration hearing tomorrow or something else relevant. Not trying to be a downer but come on!!

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#20 David S
July 19 2012, 07:31PM
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Randaman wrote:

Are you guys serious? Slow news day or what? What about Gagner's arbitration hearing tomorrow or something else relevant. Not trying to be a downer but come on!!

Dood. Wanye's articles are the one thing that stop me from becoming a consummate alcoholic over the summer months. Prospects talk, trade talk, MMA, RUSH, Esks, Oil Kings prospects, Barons prospects...*shoves finger down throat* BLEUGH!!!

Also - I swear to god that Mini Daddy video should be our new 2012-13 victory celebration!!!

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#21 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
July 19 2012, 07:34PM
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@David S

I'll PROPS that

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#22 Nail Yakupov
July 19 2012, 08:03PM
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Thinking of undergoing some dramatic cosmetic surgery to make myself look like a Jordan Eberle clone. Only in this way can I create a 1% chance of being buddies with by my hero Wanye.

A man can dream.

*runs away bawling*

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#23 Puritania
July 19 2012, 08:07PM
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Randaman wrote:

Are you guys serious? Slow news day or what? What about Gagner's arbitration hearing tomorrow or something else relevant. Not trying to be a downer but come on!!

Wanye articles are like the nugget of chocolate in the delicious drumstick ice cream cone that is ON.

*slurp* num num num.

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#24 Puritania
July 19 2012, 08:08PM
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Also, negative props button damnit!

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#25 David S
July 19 2012, 08:31PM
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Puritania wrote:

Also, negative props button damnit!

^ THIS!

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#26 David S
July 19 2012, 08:32PM
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Oh and I'd hit those Adidas Facebook edition kicks.

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#27 Wanyes bastard child
July 19 2012, 08:41PM
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David S wrote:

Oh and I'd hit those Adidas Facebook edition kicks.

Gross

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#28 2:00 AM
July 19 2012, 10:09PM
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WTF, you just cant see stuff like this coming!

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#29 Oilcruzer
July 19 2012, 10:46PM
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WTH is Kim Jong Un doing making rap videos?

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#30 Bicepus Maximus - Huge fan boy!
July 19 2012, 11:46PM
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Oilcruzer wrote:

WTH is Kim Jong Un doing making rap videos?

PROPZS!

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#31 Bicepus Maximus - Huge fan boy!
July 19 2012, 11:51PM
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I swear he's singing about a f*%#ing burrito!

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#32 Bicepus Maximus - Huge fan boy!
July 19 2012, 11:55PM
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Oh and here's the highest rated comment for that vid on youtube:

http://translate.google.com/#auto|en|pinche%20gordo%20malparido%20%2C%20chupa%20verga%2C%20marrano%20de%20mierda%2C%EF%BB%BF%20ojete%2C%20y%20como%20es%20eso%20de%20mini%20daddy%20si%20eres%20triple%20daddy%20e%20asi%20de%20gordo%20como%20estas%20bola%20de%20manteca

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#33 YoungOil
July 20 2012, 08:16AM
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ARBITRATION AVOIDED!

"The Edmonton Oilers have agreed to terms with centre Sam Gagner.

The two sides avoid arbitration as Gagner and the Oilers agree to a 1-year, $3.2 million contract"

I knew they would do this! LOL wasn't expecting a one-year deal though.

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#34 Oilcruzer
July 20 2012, 08:27AM
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Funny everyone flew to Toronto to keep Ganye (sic) for 1 year.

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#35 @Oilanderp
July 20 2012, 09:28AM
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How to make a negative props button without being a computer programmer:

1. Open the source code in a text editor and search for "props".

2. Highlight all that related text.

3. Copy and paste it.

4. Go to the duplicate you just pasted and change "props" to "drops" or "flops" or "negative props" if you have to.

5. Save, exit.

6. Stand back and watch in horror as the entire site crashes, even when you go back and remove the code you just duplicated

7. Pay for programmer.

P.S. Mini Daddy blows and should be spanked and sent to his room.

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#36 pelhem grenville
July 20 2012, 09:41AM
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YoungOil... are there any reports of Gretz phoning ?

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#37 pelhem grenville
July 20 2012, 09:59AM
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Yak called... right?

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#38 bucketoffish
July 20 2012, 10:10AM
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"Are we banned for life from the Facebook campus? Probably. But It was worth it. That's totally Zuckerberg's "traditional hand drum" propped up behind him waiting to close the meeting with a good round dance song."

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#39 The big GRIGowski
July 20 2012, 10:58AM
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It's this just a Wordpress site? Installing some sharing buttons takes all of 3 sec. I know those precious seconds will take you away from daydreaming about Ebs and babes but those simple buttons would easily increase traffic to the Nation.

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